At Chiltern Wills, we have the privilege of working with people from all walks of life, and over time we have noticed that past divorce settlements often influence clients’ current Wills. Every client brings their own story, their own values and their own hopes for the future. One of the most fascinating – and very human – aspects of our work is seeing how past experiences shape the way in which people plan for their loved ones.
Something we’ve noticed over the years, particularly among some of our male clients who have been through a divorce, is a pattern that can quietly influence their estate planning, many years after the divorce itself.
The “Balancing Act” After Divorce
Divorce is often financially and emotionally challenging. Past divorce settlements can feel, to some, as though they’ve had to give away a great deal – sometimes much more than they had expected. It’s only natural that, years later, when making a will, those feelings resurface.
Some fathers in particular, for example, may feel that they’ve already “provided for” the children of their first marriage via their divorce settlement. They may then wish to leave more to their new partner or to children from their second marriage. In effect, they’re seeking to “balance out” what they feel has already been given.
A Common, Understandable Response
This isn’t about right or wrong – it’s about people making sense of complex family dynamics. Money in Wills is deeply emotional, not just financial. And while this tendency is something we’ve observed, every situation is unique. Many divorced parents are extremely generous to children from previous relationships, and/or treat them equally to later children; others make different decisions for entirely valid reasons.
Why Careful Planning Matters
Wherever you find yourself, it’s worth stepping back and thinking through the long-term impact of your choices. Will your will reflect your values? Will it avoid potential disputes between family members? Will it stand up legally, if challenged?
At Chiltern Wills, we can help you explore these questions in a supportive, non-judgemental way. Our role isn’t to tell you what you “should” do, but to ensure your wishes are expressed clearly, legally and fairly – and that you understand the possible consequences of what you choose to do.
Moving Forward With Clarity
If your family circumstances are complex – for example, you have children from more than one relationship – you’re not alone. With sensitive planning, it’s possible to create a will that looks after everyone you care about and minimises the risk of conflict later on. If this resonates with you, or if you’d simply like to talk through your options in a confidential setting, we’re here to help.
Chiltern Wills is a Will writing business based in Beaconsfield and run by former London solicitor Rebecca D’Arcy. Get in touch to see how we can help your with Wills, Lasting Powers of Attorney or Probate.